Sunday, April 4, 2010

Betrayal most foul...

Well it appears I've been a real fool. I've been betrayed by several people. Worst of all my best friend, my master, my lover...

And it also seems that this post, which was a response to an email I received from a would be writer, was just another example of my gullibility. I was suckered into the belief that someone wanted my advice. I now believe it was an email from the person who is the reason my "friend" betrayed me.

My "friend" has lied to me about so many things, not the least of which was that I was "the best friend" he's "ever had". And you have no idea the things I've done for him... the things I've done to help him... things I've done to protect him.

I don't know if I can ever forgive this man. He is the man I allowed to tie me and "torture" me. He is the person I TRUSTED. I trusted him to do so many things to me which I would never have dreamed of letting anyone do. I let him see a side of me that no one has ever seen. And now I don't know if I can ever let anyone else see me that way. Maybe I will not be able to let anyone else "In".

I never thought I wanted anything in return for the things I did for him. BUT, I was wrong... I DID want something in return. Of course I wanted his love but I really wanted his loyalty. I wonder if I ever had that.

I've been broken.